Stop me when I say something you disagree with.
Trump lies about everything. You can’t trust a word he says.
In fact, while the rest of us speak words that are first formulated in our brains, Donald Trump has been known to pull his utterances from a different organ. Assuming Trump has thought about anything he says is never a good bet.
Still with me?
Donald Trump is lazy. He doesn’t want to work hard. He doesn’t want to do the hard work of being President.
He barely wants to do the hard work of running for President.
He just wants to be President. Or as Boris Johnson famously aspired from a young age, to be “world king.”
He knows that as long as he’s running for the nomination, he can have rallies, crash state party meetings, and grind Ron DeSantis into pudding-stained dust. (Speaking of pudding…this one’s magic!) (and one of my favorite books).
Are we still on the same page?
All of that is a great outlet for one of the two things Donald Trump thinks about most—golf and grievance. But there’s another thing he cares about, that will soon rise to the top of his list—staying out of jail.
Prison time probably wasn’t always on the agenda, but it is now. Donald Trump will soon hire fire hire lawyers who will tell him that the judicial system he thinks he can Roy Cohn into submission will not be “detained” from prosecuting and sentencing him to the full extent of the law.
How about that? Do you agree or disagree? I’ll take that as a yes.
So, building on the premise that Donald Trump doesn’t want to go to prison (though he’d finally be able to rule like a king there), let’s go back to the questions I asked in different forms here and here.
When do you think the documents case will come to trial?
Never
Before the primaries
Before the general election
After the general election
If you think there will be a trial before the election, do you think by November Donald Trump will be:
Acquitted on all counts
Awaiting sentencing
In prison
What about the January 6 case? When will that come to trial?
Never—Jack Smith will say “oops, sorry, my bad!”
Before the primaries
Before the general election
After the general election
And Georgia?
We know the (multiple) indictments are coming in August
See above
You get the idea—multiple trials and convictions by Election Day
I don’t think justice will move so quickly that, like the suddenly fashionable to reference He Whose Initials Used To Signify A Yiddish Radio Station, Donald Trump will campaign from a jail cell.
But I do think it’s likely that Donald Trump will either be on trial and/or have already been convicted of multiple crimes that carry 20 year prison sentences by the time the primaries are under way.
Details, tapes, insider accounts and Trump’s own words will be on the record showing how deeply involved he was in corruption, obstruction, conspiracy, maybe money-laundering and bribery—who knows? (LIV/Saudi connection?)
What do you think? But wait—there’s a catch!
Before you consider whether Trump will stand or escape conviction—or even trial—the rules of this exercise are you are not allowed to suspend your own disbelief, reason and capacity for intelligent thought and allow the words “because he’s Trump” to enter your brain.
You are not allowed to obliterate all that you know as a rational human being to arrive at the conclusion Trump can remain in the presidential race. Because you know that’s what you’ve been doing.
What if the mere bagatelle of 31 counts of violating the Espionage Act, was, say, murder? Would that give you pause? Remember, you can’t say “because he’s Trump.”
I’m still betting on the following outcome, and I’ll be asking for you, my readers, to remember this when it comes to pass. Have you stopped me yet? Disagreed with me on anything?
I wrote this last November, after Trump rushed to announce his candidacy in that weird scene inside the goldmine ballroom. I wondered if the distraction of trying to stay out of jail, along with the possibility someone might beat him in a primary—and not forgetting that Trump doesn’t want to be President anyway— might cause him to look for a reason to take his ball of MAGA confusion and go home.
Voting is for suckers, he’ll say.
Voting is for losers. Look what they did to me. It’s all rigged. Stay home.
When Trump won in 2016, Reuters reported that some 15 percent of voters said it was their first time voting in a presidential election.
We used to have another name for people who believed in conspiracy theories, distrusted or even hated all politicians and paid little to no attention to news about politics.
We called them non-voters. Donald Trump’s ultimate plan may be to send them back to their old habits. Never mind caring about democracy and participating in elections, he’ll say. Stick with me.
Now, Trump has told Politico that even if he's convicted, he’ll “never leave,” echoing something I wrote here in March.
From this day forward, I hereby name Kari Lake as the designated candidate of the Trump campaign. She will campaign in the primaries on my behalf while I fight these indictments, and turn over her delegates to me when I win.
But if she loses to meatballs like DeSantis or Christie, or some boring Governor you’ve never heard of, I’m telling my people to go back to what they were Before Trump—non-voters.
The system is rigged, politics is rigged, and now the laws are rigged to persecute Trump. So we’re not going along with any of it. Not any more.
I told you that if we didn’t fix what was wrong with the borders, and antifa, and Black Lives Matter, we wouldn’t have a country anymore. Well, we don’t. These indictments aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.
Neither are election ballots. So I also hereby repudiate the Justice Department, the Manhattan D.A., the Fulton County D.A., and further repudiate the 2024 election. If I can’t be President, the job isn’t worth having.
I don’t need elections, or laws, or the woke wokey wokism of the left. I have Truth Social, better cable networks than Fox News, and supporters who love getting emails from me.
Indictments won’t stop me. Rigged elections won’t stop me. I am never going away.
President Bill Clinton, who liked to get out and about, famously called the White House the “crown jewel of the federal penal system.” He was probably being ironic, and certainly speculating—but Trump may soon be able to make the comparison.
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